Small 1:

We have a piece of fly paper hanging in one of the doorways in our home.  Every day I walk by it and my hair gets caught. The fly we are trying to catch seems to be too smart and has yet to get snagged.

Score: Fly- 1; Humans- 0.

Small 2:

Even as a writer I have slow moments. For example, there was a sign on a street lamp that said "MGMT tonight in park" I took that as one of my favorite bands, MGMT, performing in a park. After going inside a bodega and asking if they knew who put up the sign a man behind the counter said, "Ms. you saw that sign right here on the corner of Jerome Ave. and 198th St. in the Bronx, do you really think some known band that you'd listen to would be performing in a park around here?" I agreed with the man and looked so deflated until I realized, MGMT is not for the band it's for "management", as in whatever building management corresponds with the number assigned to the bottom of the piece of paper that I didn't bother to finish reading. The cup of shame and stupidity runneth over.

Small 3:

If you sell something a friend gave you because they didn't want it, should you share the profits? I don't think so, but I'm sure there are people that do. I'll make sure to stay away from those people.

Small 4:

One of our neighbors in our building is always drunk. We constantly hear her drunk shouting. One day as I was walking upstairs to our floor, she was in front of the steps with a friend eating lunch. I asked her if she could move, because I couldn't get through. Her friends response "Hey! we're eating lunch here!" Obviously I was the problem since I interrupted their lunchtime.  

Small 5:

Drunk neighbor round 2: Backstory that I forgot to share previously, our drunk neighbor was hit by a car years ago from being so drunk and running in the street. Since then she is always drunk and/or on other drugs in her wheelchair. You'll understand why this is relevant in a second. Turning around the corner from the elevator to walk down the hallway to our apartment, I see her in front of our door. This is not the first time she has done this. I'm holding 3 heavy bags and trying to understand why she is idly sitting there. I try to squeeze and put my key in lock around her.  That didn't work so I said. "Excuse me, you're in front of my door, I need you to move". She peered at me drunkenly , rolled her eyes and moved herself out of the way as if I was interrupting her drunken meditation.  She may have one the first incident, but I'm taking this win!

Small 6:

Last week, my baby nephew got a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch. He was happy of course, because who wouldn’t be with a good PB&J? He comes over to me and whispers, “Auntie Brooke, I like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, but my favorite is grilled cheese. It makes me poop, but it feels so good”. I’m horrible when it comes to kids saying funny things and trying to hold in my laughter. So I busted out laughing, not just because of how he said it, but I wasn’t sure which he meant felt so good? Eating the grilled cheese or him pooping it out? Possibly both knowing him. Either way, he’s correct.