My parents use to host spades games at our house with a couple family members when I was younger. Of course being the nosiest of the three children, I had to be all in the mix with the adults, so I asserted myself into their games. Someone (not sure who) said I could keep score instead of hawking in the doorway. I asked lots of questions to everyone’s dismay and learned to be the best score keeper in upstate New York (self-given title). I truly wanted to learn how to play spades. But sadly, what was told to me through clenched teeth and grunts didn’t stick and I did not learn.

Fast forward to every family gathering I have been to since childhood and still no one can be bothered to teach me, why is it that you are banned to the abyss if you don’t know how to play spades? I get that supposedly it’s “ingrained” within African American culture, but those genes skipped me and now I can’t even walk over to a card table without my anxiety reaching an all time high. I remember once in my early teen years I approached a group of my older uncles and aunts at a family reunion as they were picking teams to play and they were excited at first to have me, but once I told them I needed a little help the pitch of their laughter would’ve made the hair on your ears stand at attention. So I shrugged my shoulders and more than likely stole a wine cooler from the “adult drink bin” as I went off.

Spades is sneaky and more of a fighting game than a card game; people lose friendships, contact with family members and sometimes teeth if it gets physical. That never happens with games such as Pac Man, the infamous card game,“I Declare War” or Monopoly- well maybe with Monopoly. Let’s just say the next gathering where everyone wants to play spades, I’ll be suggesting Family Feud and if they mess up...well the name of the game speaks for itself, so there will be no surprises.

Have any of you experienced something like this? Also, if you have any tips for how to play spades, leave that in the comments too, clearly I need all the help I can get.