Age

I've been working around young women in their early to mid-twenties the past few months. Many of them just graduated from college and/or still lived with their parents who made their lunches- side note: mom, I know you're in Florida, but I would love for you to send several vegetarian/vegan meals for my lunches so I wouldn't have to take the time- thanks in advance. Most of our conversations involved pop culture, music and of course fashion- basically a one sheet of topics. I enjoyed being around them, all of the young ladies have amazing personalities. One day a conversation about previous job experiences led to discussing age. After they spoke about their first jobs (for some they were at it) when the question came to me, I let them know mine was many years ago. They were shocked, thinking I may have been referring to an internship, but I wasn't. They proceeded to ask how old I was, so I said in my 30's and their jaws dropped. Out of their disbelief, they told me there's no way I could be "that old", they assumed I was around their age- but you know what they say about assuming right?  I didn't understand why they couldn't grasp their mind around it...I didn't say mid 50's. But I get it, one of my nephews who is 4, thinks I'm ancient and when I was in my early 20's anyone above 30 was old to me as well. I mean what could I respond back with other than, "black don't crack, it's the melanin baby"! I proceeded to tell them that I take care of my skin, I'm conscious of the food I eat, I don't smoke cigarettes, I workout, pray and meditate not much more to it than that.

It's interesting when people can't place you in a box they become overzealous with trying to figure out why.  There's no mystery, we can be different and it's okay to accept it and leave it. The age talks started to become obsessive. I essentially wanted to take a page out of my friends Weeza and Rashawn's books and speak around it or channel my inner Aaliyah and say "Age Ain't Nothin' But A Number".  I was even called a vampire...a VAMPIRE! I love vampire movies so, actually being called one by a girl was funny, I wasn't even slightly offended.  I told myself I'll be the fiercest vampire since Angela Bassett in "A Vampire in Brooklyn"- because who wouldn't?  Age has not ever played a factor in my life and I don't see it becoming one. I hope you all feel that way too. Don't ever let the opinions of others make you feel awkward, it's their hang-up, not yours. So I say, be you, be true and vamp on!

This was Angela Bassett in, "A Vampire in Brooklyn", the movie came out in 1995. Look at a picture of her now and she looks exactly the same! Flawless.

Hearts

It’s been a little over a week since I logged off all social media. I only use Instagram and Pinterest, I have rarely gone on Facebook since last year. This didn’t start as some sort of experiment, but it has become one inadvertently. Originally I did it because I was tired of how much I constantly check and scroll on Instagram- I was basically a zombie just flipping through pictures and double tapping the image. You don’t realize how much of a distraction it is in your daily life until you stop. Once I logged off I immediately felt relief, there was no more pressure for me to post something (mind you I’m the one who’s putting that on myself). I come from a career in marketing (10+ years), so I know and understand the world we live in and how important social media is for our voices to be heard and to promote ourselves. I get it, I don’t care as much, but I get it.   

Don’t get it twisted I love to post pictures or video of my friends, loved ones or a fun adventure because they are special to me and I want to share. I just don’t do it for the double tap. For me, there are images that have received 20 and then there are those with over 200. It’s funny to see what gets what, as in what others deem as “cool” or skip over because they feel it doesn’t deserve their endorsement. As if any persons validation should be important enough for you to become a feen for a “like”.  But there are those that crave it, they “do it for the gram” and it’s only good for them when they see how many approve of it. I know quite a few people that do this and it makes me sad for them, I want to break their chains from the stronghold they have over themselves.

I will log back on this week, mainly because some friends and I are on a group DM (direct message- for anyone who is not familiar). We literally talk all day every day about politics, funny memes, crazy videos we see, calling out each other, promoting what we have currently going on, etc. So in a way, I have felt disconnected from life in that sense. Of course, I talk to them outside of social media, but some are more likely to check a DM than a text because that’s the culture we are in.

I have used the collective time sans social media to read, whether it’s a book or the news or information about something of interest. It’s interesting to see how much time logging on and scrolling can take out of your life, instead of spending time in the present. I need to continue to take my own advice, but it’s hard when it has become habitual. I love to take pictures or video so that won’t stop, but I know that I don’t need to be so quick to post and constantly look to see how many people liked it. If I like it, that’s enough and what others choose to deem worthy of their “likes” should not be my concern. So the question remains with me: did my experiment cleanse my self-inflicted social paranoia? In a way, yes. I no longer feel the need to log on, but I will because there are things I need to publicize and I want to support those who support me by promoting their stuff too. Social media as we all know is a gift and a curse, but we learn (or will learn) that once you have love for yourself you no longer need likes.

With just one click, it owns you and you become a slave to it.