I grew up loving noise. I appreciated the fact that I could block people out with music, books, tv and most of all with my thoughts. I have a gift of being able to think several full complex thoughts and scenarios out at once while someone is talking to me and still be able to comprehend what they are saying. I have the capability to be physically present even when I’m not mentally or spiritually and to snap back into the right moment fully aware of what they are speaking of. Some might not call it a gift and that’s okay because it’s not meant for you. My brain is creative and unique and that’s just what it does. As I mentioned earlier this year in the story “Active Listening”, I’m getting better at just that.

I was speaking to a friend recently about being comfortable in the uncomfortable moments of life and how everyone deals with this same issue. Someone is always asking another, “How do you get through it?” Well, I wish I had a universal answer that would solve this hurdle for everyone, but I don’t and there’s no one on earth who does. If they say they do, they are lying. We all work through things differently and that’s what makes us like snowflakes, no two are alike.

I’ve been working on sitting in the silence and feeling my way through why I have always thought it awkward and uncomfortable. The conclusion is inconclusive because I am still under construction in this area. I can share that now I’m able to quiet my mind for seven whole minutes without stirring. That might sound minuscule, but when your mind is constantly churning and you average three to four solid sleep hours a night without waking up, it’s a huge accomplishment. And this is just the beginning.

I hope that whatever hurdles you are working to jump over in your daily lives, that you take it one step at a time and not compare your journey with anyone else’s. It’s okay to be uncomfortable as long as you’re finding a healthy way to break through it. Embrace the silence. In this crazy world, we all could use a break from the noise.

Finding silence through the noise.

It’s been a little over a week since I logged off all social media. I only use Instagram and Pinterest, I have rarely gone on Facebook since last year. This didn’t start as some sort of experiment, but it has become one inadvertently. Originally I did it because I was tired of how much I constantly check and scroll on Instagram- I was basically a zombie just flipping through pictures and double tapping the image. You don’t realize how much of a distraction it is in your daily life until you stop. Once I logged off I immediately felt relief, there was no more pressure for me to post something (mind you I’m the one who’s putting that on myself). I come from a career in marketing (10+ years), so I know and understand the world we live in and how important social media is for our voices to be heard and to promote ourselves. I get it, I don’t care as much, but I get it.

Don’t get it twisted I love to post pictures or video of my friends, loved ones or a fun adventure because they are special to me and I want to share. I just don’t do it for the double tap. For me, there are images that have received 20 and then there are those with over 200. It’s funny to see what gets what, as in what others deem as “cool” or skip over because they feel it doesn’t deserve their endorsement. As if any persons validation should be important enough for you to become a feen for a “like”. But there are those that crave it, they “do it for the gram” and it’s only good for them when they see how many approve of it. I know quite a few people that do this and it makes me sad for them, I want to break their chains from the stronghold they have over themselves.

I will log back on this week, mainly because some friends and I are on a group DM (direct message- for anyone who is not familiar). We literally talk all day every day about politics, funny memes, crazy videos we see, calling out each other, promoting what we have currently going on, etc. So in a way, I have felt disconnected from life in that sense. Of course, I talk to them outside of social media, but some are more likely to check a DM than a text because that’s the culture we are in.

I have used the collective time sans social media to read, whether it’s a book or the news or information about something of interest. It’s interesting to see how much time logging on and scrolling can take out of your life, instead of spending time in the present. I need to continue to take my own advice, but it’s hard when it has become habitual. I love to take pictures or video so that won’t stop, but I know that I don’t need to be so quick to post and constantly look to see how many people liked it. If I like it, that’s enough and what others choose to deem worthy of their “likes” should not be my concern. So the question remains with me: did my experiment cleanse my self-inflicted social paranoia? In a way, yes. I no longer feel the need to log on, but I will because there are things I need to publicize and I want to support those who support me by promoting their stuff too. Social media as we all know is a gift and a curse, but we learn (or will learn) that once you have love for yourself you no longer need likes.

With just one click, it owns you and you become a slave to it.