My parents use to host spades games at our house with a couple family members when I was younger. Of course being the nosiest of the three children, I had to be all in the mix with the adults, so I asserted myself into their games. Someone (not sure who) said I could keep score instead of hawking in the doorway. I asked lots of questions to everyone’s dismay and learned to be the best score keeper in upstate New York (self-given title). I truly wanted to learn how to play spades. But sadly, what was told to me through clenched teeth and grunts didn’t stick and I did not learn.

Fast forward to every family gathering I have been to since childhood and still no one can be bothered to teach me, why is it that you are banned to the abyss if you don’t know how to play spades? I get that supposedly it’s “ingrained” within African American culture, but those genes skipped me and now I can’t even walk over to a card table without my anxiety reaching an all time high. I remember once in my early teen years I approached a group of my older uncles and aunts at a family reunion as they were picking teams to play and they were excited at first to have me, but once I told them I needed a little help the pitch of their laughter would’ve made the hair on your ears stand at attention. So I shrugged my shoulders and more than likely stole a wine cooler from the “adult drink bin” as I went off.

Spades is sneaky and more of a fighting game than a card game; people lose friendships, contact with family members and sometimes teeth if it gets physical. That never happens with games such as Pac Man, the infamous card game,“I Declare War” or Monopoly- well maybe with Monopoly. Let’s just say the next gathering where everyone wants to play spades, I’ll be suggesting Family Feud and if they mess up...well the name of the game speaks for itself, so there will be no surprises.

Have any of you experienced something like this? Also, if you have any tips for how to play spades, leave that in the comments too, clearly I need all the help I can get.

This past Saturday, one of my best friends, Rashawn and I held our 5th Annual Friendsgiving in her home. We initially started to throw Friendsgiving dinners because we would be home during Thanksgiving time, either due to tickets being too expensive to visit family out of state or just our daily life schedules. Friendsgiving to us represents a community of close friends all celebrating each other, being thankful we all have one another and focusing on the joy that life is no matter your situation. Our first one, was smaller in numbers because people were going away that year, but what it lacked in numbers it made up for in the great time that was had. When we look back it was the perfect size. The following year it got insane. friends that didn't make it the previous year, ALL made a point to come that year and they invited people. Rashawn has a big apartment but the overflow was leaking into all the bedrooms, hallways, even out the door. It was definitely a turn up, but it needed to be turned down. It got to a point that there were people no one knew coming in and thus getting away from what Friendsgiving was about. From then on we learned to say "invite only" on the evites aka don't bring other people unless you ask first.

Oftentimes Friendsgiving acts as the one time of year most of us will have the opportunity to see each other, so everyone makes that time count. The abundance of food and drinks can make you gluttonous. Everyone brings something whether it be a dish, liquor or something to serve the food on. No one goes hungry and in some cases people don't leave without taking leftovers home.

The past few years, Rashawn set up a photo booth area in one of her rooms. I call that room, the locker room, since she has a full set of red lockers in that room she uses for storage, it's pretty dope. Anyway, no matter the gathering people will flock to the locker room which also has couches and chairs. This year she created an Instagram page for the occasion and everyone that took pics in the photo booth, which she made using her iPad and a downloadable app, were able to upload the pics directly to the page. Therefore cancelling out everyone asking for the pics and video taken post Friendsgiving. Who doesn't love a group photo and taking fun videos with friends? Imagine doing this mixed with full stomachs and drinks in hand? What do you end up with? Hilarious buffoonery that's what! We all know the size of a regular iPad screen, so 8-10 people running in the room and trying to fit was not happening. It was tried nonetheless, even if someone only got their forehead in. My friend Sansarae was basically Beyonce in one of the videos and everyone else were the back up. Orande, Rashawn and Greg have a video where they are all doing the Milly Wop, that video left me laughing to tears and there's also a video of me thinking we're all taking a photo, until Rashawn tells me it's a video. I'm posing for a good 8 seconds until it's realized, it 's ridiculous and funny at the same time. There's way too many to recap, but you get it, it was fun.

Throughout the times at Friendsgiving I always realize how beautiful it is that we can all gather to just have a good time, great vibes with delicious food (Orande makes mac and cheese that people go savage for and same goes for Denise's banana pudding. If your not quick then you'll miss out). It's so easy to get flustered through life, but if you can have only one moment in a year with close friends, let it be a gathering such as this, it helps in saying hakuna matata much easier as you go throughout your days.

If you don't know this scene then do yourself a favor and watch the Lion King. Hakuna Matata! P.S. I also saw The Lion King on Broadway last week and it was incredible!