Do you believe you have all the tools needed within you to win at life? I do. I believe we all are born with everything we need, but we have to possess the thought process of knowing this. A dream deferred is just that, deferred. It’s not gone, you may just have to take a different route to get there. Or maybe your dream is not your purpose but the steps you take to reach that dream is the pathway to your purpose.

Depression, self-resentment, etc. have caused me to throw a pity party for a large portion of my life up until a few months ago. I literally woke up one day and said “enough, I’ve had enough”. I had prayed and asked for answers but never listening to the answers given. I was continuously blocking my blessings because I couldn’t get out of my own way, my own emotions of self doubt. That morning when I said enough, it was as if I was given a new outlook. Of course those self deprecating thoughts will try and sneak in, but I am able to mentally toss them aside and say those aren’t for me any longer. I’ve prayed differently since then, instead of selfish prayers (as I call them), I pray for insight and the ability to see and listen to what He is showing and telling me. I learned to set my attention on my intentions.

When I was a child I wanted to be a singer, I even went to college for a bit and majored in voice. That was not my path, but I had always wrote songs, poems and stories, not realizing the footprints I was creating for my life. I believe if I hadn't taken the long route and thought my childhood dream of being a singer was all I was meant to be, I wouldn’t have eventually discovered my purpose of writing.

I say this a lot but, no matter if no one else believes in you, you have to believe in yourself. Be the best version of yourself, where you become what you want to see in the world and live in a space of gratitude. By gratitude I don’t mean saying please and thank you all the time to people, although you should, but noticing things and saying it out loud. For example when you notice love by a mom holding their child’s hand crossing the street, speak it out loud or internally, “thank you for showing me love”. You’ll notice that your gratuitous attitude brings lots of positivity to you, at least that’s what I’m learning. Everyone’s experience will be different but, what’s the harm in trying it out.

I hope your holiday time with friends, family and yourself has been beautiful and that your 2018 is blessed with everything that you never expected but have manifested. Cheers to us all!

I'll end this post with the infamous poem by Langston Hughes.

Harlem

BY LANGSTON HUGHES

What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up

like a raisin in the sun?

Or fester like a sore—

And then run?

Does it stink like rotten meat?

Or crust and sugar over—

like a syrupy sweet?

Maybe it just sags

like a heavy load.

Or does it explode?

This past Saturday, one of my best friends, Rashawn and I held our 5th Annual Friendsgiving in her home. We initially started to throw Friendsgiving dinners because we would be home during Thanksgiving time, either due to tickets being too expensive to visit family out of state or just our daily life schedules. Friendsgiving to us represents a community of close friends all celebrating each other, being thankful we all have one another and focusing on the joy that life is no matter your situation. Our first one, was smaller in numbers because people were going away that year, but what it lacked in numbers it made up for in the great time that was had. When we look back it was the perfect size. The following year it got insane. friends that didn't make it the previous year, ALL made a point to come that year and they invited people. Rashawn has a big apartment but the overflow was leaking into all the bedrooms, hallways, even out the door. It was definitely a turn up, but it needed to be turned down. It got to a point that there were people no one knew coming in and thus getting away from what Friendsgiving was about. From then on we learned to say "invite only" on the evites aka don't bring other people unless you ask first.

Oftentimes Friendsgiving acts as the one time of year most of us will have the opportunity to see each other, so everyone makes that time count. The abundance of food and drinks can make you gluttonous. Everyone brings something whether it be a dish, liquor or something to serve the food on. No one goes hungry and in some cases people don't leave without taking leftovers home.

The past few years, Rashawn set up a photo booth area in one of her rooms. I call that room, the locker room, since she has a full set of red lockers in that room she uses for storage, it's pretty dope. Anyway, no matter the gathering people will flock to the locker room which also has couches and chairs. This year she created an Instagram page for the occasion and everyone that took pics in the photo booth, which she made using her iPad and a downloadable app, were able to upload the pics directly to the page. Therefore cancelling out everyone asking for the pics and video taken post Friendsgiving. Who doesn't love a group photo and taking fun videos with friends? Imagine doing this mixed with full stomachs and drinks in hand? What do you end up with? Hilarious buffoonery that's what! We all know the size of a regular iPad screen, so 8-10 people running in the room and trying to fit was not happening. It was tried nonetheless, even if someone only got their forehead in. My friend Sansarae was basically Beyonce in one of the videos and everyone else were the back up. Orande, Rashawn and Greg have a video where they are all doing the Milly Wop, that video left me laughing to tears and there's also a video of me thinking we're all taking a photo, until Rashawn tells me it's a video. I'm posing for a good 8 seconds until it's realized, it 's ridiculous and funny at the same time. There's way too many to recap, but you get it, it was fun.

Throughout the times at Friendsgiving I always realize how beautiful it is that we can all gather to just have a good time, great vibes with delicious food (Orande makes mac and cheese that people go savage for and same goes for Denise's banana pudding. If your not quick then you'll miss out). It's so easy to get flustered through life, but if you can have only one moment in a year with close friends, let it be a gathering such as this, it helps in saying hakuna matata much easier as you go throughout your days.

If you don't know this scene then do yourself a favor and watch the Lion King. Hakuna Matata! P.S. I also saw The Lion King on Broadway last week and it was incredible!