Opposite of Life

I’ve been surrounded by death lately, by way of my friends and an acquaintance from unfortunate passings of their loved ones. I’m heartbroken for them and as an empath, I can become enveloped in their grief. I consider myself extremely optimistic, but I haven’t been able to find that outlook through this, so it’s become an internal struggle. The blanket statement, “at least they are not suffering anymore”, doesn’t seem to absorb the emotion, so I don't say it. Although their loved ones are in a spiritually peaceful place, they are still here on earth living through heartache every day.

I was speaking to my friend, Latasha, about a situation and telling her I felt like I wasn’t doing enough. I want to do more than pray for and over them, more than call, more than letting them know I’ll be there if they need. I want to take their pain away. In times such as these, I always just want to do more. Latasha assured me what I subconsciously knew, which was my prayers and support is all they need. She is right, the people that know me and know my heart understand that I want to do more for them, but being still and praying is enough. Right now, they are doing the best they can day by day to work through their emotions. It’s already understood that I’ll be there for them in whatever capacity they need if they just say the words.

Prayer to me is the biggest action there is, so I will continue without ceasing. To my friends who have lost someone recently I've said this to each of you individually but please know that I love you, I’m here to be present when you need and I can tell numerous corny jokes to at least put a smile on your face for a moment. To anyone else dealing with any type of suffering right now, I'm praying for the metamorphosis into your true healing.

Heavy

Have any of you watched "13 Reasons Why" on Netflix? I'm sure a lot of you have.  It's a really telling story on how school bullying can turn into death by suicide. 

I can't speak from a space of knowing how it feels to know someone who has committed suicide, but I do know how it feels to be bullied and deal with heavy thoughts. Everyone probably has been bullied in their lives in some form or another. For me it took place from childhood to young adulthood in different stages and scopes.  When I was younger I was bullied for being overweight by kids in school and out of school. Kids laughed at me, made eating noises, wouldn't want to hang out with me in after school programs or summer camp. Adults were just as cruel and insulting when it came to my weight as well, they laughed and made jokes. During high school, I was told by my school counselor I wouldn't amount to much in life and certainly was not good enough to get into college, mind you I was the only black female in my graduating class.  A colleague once told me that people like me (young, black and tattooed) wouldn't be in high positions of a career, I became her boss soon after that comment.  I'm happy to say that I did not allow their words or actions to define me as a person.

Sometimes you don't want to talk out your emotions, you want to act out. Being the bully was not ever an avenue I wanted to take or I suggest to anyone else. I always wrote down my feelings and issues, this helped me see how the people being the bullies actually feel or felt about themselves. There weren't a lot of people I confided in about those things at the time because I thought no one would want to listen me. That wasn't true and I encourage everyone to talk to someone, cry to someone, write down your experiences, pray. Whatever is therapeutic to you and what will help. Whether it be from a family member, school mates, teachers, co-workers, whomever do not tolerate it.

You have to be the one to encourage yourself first. In the famous words of Eleanor Roosevelt "No one can make you feel inferior without your permission". I personally believe in this statement because, as hard as it may be, don't give your power of self to any one. Love yourself for all your weirdness and beautiful nature, because you are outstanding. Life will never be perfect, but while you have life, surround yourself with people who are true and encouraging. Trials and tribulations are everywhere we look, so take the lifelong journey to get to a good place within yourself.  Bullying and suicide are heavy issues to deal with, that in my opinion are just getting to the surface of the media within the past decade or so.  If you are being bullied, depressed and/or dealing with suicidal thoughts or know someone who is, I beg of you to please go to one of the following sites:

https://afsp.org/

https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

 http://www.stompoutbullying.org/information-and-resources/about-bullying-and-cyberbullying/are-you-being-bullied

http://www.pacer.org/bullying/

 https://www.stopbullying.gov/

If you know of any more sites or numbers where people can get the help needed, please list below in the comments and share. All of the above are my personal thoughts, they do not reflect the pain or seriousness others may have had or are currently going through. I share to be encouraging because we are all in need of that and don't deserve judgment. Do you have a story on these issues you'd like to share? I'd love to hear from you.

Don't let the negativity absorb you, rise above and be great.