adulthood

A Cheesy Fate

I was told a story a few weeks back about the lengths a girl went to catch a mouse in her apartment. Her roommate had called to let her know that she saw one in their kitchen. After she got off the phone she completely panicked. Immediately, she went online to search for an exterminator and found one that would come the next day. When the exterminator arrived they asked if it was a definite that the mouse would be caught, of course, he could not be certain, but he assured them that he put down the best mouse traps he had. Now I don’t know if the mouse was ever caught, but I do know they paid way too much for someone to come and put down the generic sticky mouse traps you can find in the dollar store. For all that they went through I hope it was caught. 

After hearing her story, I laughed to myself and said I know of a good method they could try themselves if this happens again. I told her mice don’t only like pieces of cheese, peanut butter or whatever else exterminators or stores put on the the traps- they also like Doritos. Not all Doritos, but the nacho cheese ones. How do I know this? Well one day Orande had a $.25 bag on the table, walked away for a few leaving the bag in plain sight and when he came back into the room it was ripped open. The little shit ate his Doritos! So he came up with an idea of how to catch him, he put what was left of that tiny bag of chips onto little traps in certain corners of our apartment to catch him. I thought this was hilarious, but also genius. That little mouse is clever and it taunted me often by only appearing when I was in the house by myself- he had an agenda. But we don’t keep snacks in the house (outside of almonds and fruit) or leave food out, so the one time that bag of Doritos was there, he jumped at the prime snacking opportunity. Little did he know that his greed was going to be his demise. Not long after those chips were laid on the traps, I had went to get something out of a room and heard a squeaking noise but didn’t know what it was. I lifted up a bag full of hats and behind it in the crevice was that tiny mouse stuck on the trap and the Dorito chip was gone- meaning his ass thought he was getting a mid-day snack when he was actually meeting his doom. I screamed and ran into another room, told Orande who went and scooped up the mouse in a bag and got rid of it. 

Moral of the story is, if you ever have a mouse in your house, don’t spend a lot of money on an exterminator or fancy traps- go to the store, get a bag of nacho Doritos (they might be uppity, so stick to the name brand), place it on a cheap sticky trap, and be patient until it decides to go for a cheesy snack. Now what you choose to do with it after, whether let it go outside or the other unfortunate fate is your choice, no judgement here. We also live in NYC, and with old buildings built on older foundations or even new buildings built on old foundations, it happens sporadically. But remember: they are smart, but you hold all the chips (pun intended).

This didn’t even work on Jerry in the cartoons, you really think this is going to work on a city mouse? Get clever.

This didn’t even work on Jerry in the cartoons, you really think this is going to work on a city mouse? Get clever.

33 Going on 16

One day my friend Rae (Sansarae, if you want the full) and I made plans for dinner. I was visiting my aunt upstate at the time to help her pack up for her move. 

The day before I had told my aunt I was going to dinner with my friend and she said she'd drop me off...*blank stare*. After very little thought I knew I wanted to drive myself so I could have the freedom of coming and going. I asked my aunt to borrow her car so I could meet my friend that night. Honestly you'd think I asked her to BUY me a car with the look of hesitation she gave. Of course I knew that her answer of "no I don't mind dropping you off", translated to "I don't think so." I couldn't do anything but laugh and not laugh at her telling me no so much as her thinking I'm still this small child. I get it, in the eyes of your family they will always see you as a "baby", but this "baby" has been driving since 16 and is married. It didn't matter though, her answer wouldn't have changed if at the time I was pregnant with twins and married for 20 years. Regardless of my circumstances I'll always be a little girl to my aunt and most of my family. To bring it back, my aunt dropped me off and Rae brought me back to my aunts house later. We laughed about it the whole way there.

I find it funny that we all get the "oh wows" when you haven't seen a family member in a very long time. They ask you your age, like they can't believe you're 10 years older since the last time they saw you...10 years ago! One day when I'm 65 maybe I won't get the "oh wows" anymore. But then, my nephews and any other offspring will have picked up where I left off. So to the future youngins', I'm wishing you good luck and God speed, you'll still be 16 in your 80's.

I probably was almost 2 here. I look the same, just with less ruffles.