Work

If you moderate your diet, but never exercise will that bring you the best physical version of yourself? I'm not an expert, but I highly doubt it. If you don't water your in-home plants will they grow? The answer is no. Marriage in my personal opinion requires work on self from the mental, spiritual, physical, emotional and intellectual parts of you as well as from your spouse. You have to water your relationship to nourish it.

Orande and I just came back from a beautiful week in Cozumel celebrating our 2nd wedding anniversary. On vacations we like to unplug from the world, which means no contacting people outside of a quick check in with family to let them know we are safe and no social media. By doing this it allows us to focus only on us, it is not something we do only on vacations, but we incorporate this within our marriage often. Love and marriage is hard work, it requires more energy than your 9 to 5, but it's the most rewarding. There is no marriage we model ours off of, as there is no perfect example and no perfect people. We learn to make our own rules and find out what works best for us. Marriage is not made for the faint of heart. There will be ups and downs, smiles and frowns, tears and happiness and heartache and hard love. But if you can't imagine going through any of those things without your significant other then it is all worth it. Your love for each other will persevere and flourish with your continuous effort.

I was told by someone I trust that him and I together are more powerful than either of us can imagine and I truly believe that. I'm thankful and blessed that we are in this thing called life together. 

Should I have warned you that this post would be sentimental?  If I did where would the suspense have been?! Share what works for you in your relationship in the comments, would love to hear!

This is us on our wedding day walking into our lives.

Makeup Demon

Let me set the scene: it’s an early weekday afternoon at a Sephora on the Upper West Side of Manhattan. I’m dressed casually in a black leather hat, my glasses, a hoodie, some sneakers and only eyeliner. Of course I know the deal of going to Sephora with little to no makeup is a set up waiting to happen. Nevertheless, I just needed to replace my under eye concealer and that’s it.

Knowing the concealer I usually get, I wanted to ask an associate for another suggestion.  That associate or "cast member", as I believe they are called, lead me to an older African American woman co-worker we’ll call her Tess. Tess asked me about 6 times in disbelief about the concealer I was using and how many years I've been using it. She proceeds to show me two others, one that is literally the color of my palm and the other that was actually on tone. Opting for one that reflects my actual complexion, as if she was testing me, she nods in approval. You’d think it’d end there...of course not. Tess asks in probably her shadiest tone when will I graduate to foundation and eyebrows, etc? I give her a snarky smirk and say “maybe when I’m your age I'll need it”. I honestly believe she liked our shady banter. Again, you’d think it’d end there...it doesn’t. Tess goes on to ask what kind of eyeliner do I use, stating that she can do my lines better? I respond with, "Nah, I'm good. I came for the concealer and I threw on this eyeliner so I wouldn’t look like I just came from the gym" aka your getting your commission, now leave me alone.  During checkout, the cashier asks if anyone helped me and Tess happens to be behind her so I let her know. The cashier gives a snort and responds with, “oh Tess helped you? Ha! I’m sure that was an experience”. I laugh and tell her she definitely can use a customer service workshop. 

As I left with my purchase I scrambled for my phone and immediately called one my best friends, Aqila aka Qilah. I tell her the whole story in full detail. We both laugh and Qilah responds with “who the hell does that?! She gets commission, so the unsolicited questions and info she decided to share weren’t necessary. Lucky it wasn’t me, I wouldn’t have been as nice, no one should do that.” Laughing and hearing her say that made me miss my friend even more. She lives in ATL now, so I don’t get to see her as often as I would like. Qilah has always been my sister since I’ve known her, she's my family through and through. We don’t have to be on the phone for hours or see each other often, but knowing you have a friend you can call for stupid rants or in depth life conversations are the ones you want to hold on to.

Don't ever feel like you have to wear make up or let any one ever tell you what you need to make yourself look "more beautiful" or "trend acceptable". Makeup is an enhancement of your natural state. You shouldn't be wiping off your entire face at night and becoming a different person. Also, get yourself a friend like Qilah and stay away from makeup demons like Tess.

Not the store I went into, but you get it.